Tawny Estrella
Jul 30, 20223 min
I’ve been moving through some really heavy stuff this week.
A lot of my deepest wounds, triggers, & insecurities have been brought to the surface over the past month or so.
This is happening to all of us right now in our own ways.
Yes, this can feel extremely challenging, exhausting, overwhelming, even hopeless at times.
And whenever I feel this way with this level of intensity, I know I’m about to break through.
I’ve experienced it enough times to know this is how I feel before something majorly shifts and opens for me.
There are opportunities within this for you to open too.
I feel tested, afraid, battered and bruised. I feel like things suddenly escalate in multiple areas at once (usually surrounding the same theme).
I feel like I’m being pummeled by waves of emotion, waves of uncertainty, and external experiences that push me beyond where I’ve been before.
From one perspective, this can feel like an ending, a stopping point, a barrier, a brick wall.
From another view, this is just the beginning.
A brand new opening, experience, and opportunity to see what we’re being presented with and choose to try something new.
A chance to be kinder to ourselves, to rewrite the stories that are coming up, to go where we haven’t gone before.
Seeing things differently, experiencing things differently, doing things differently can change the entire outcome.
With so many retrograde transits happening right now + Chiron’s influence, we are all moving through major periods of transformation, healing and review.
What if these experiences are not here to punish you?
What if these experiences have shown up in perfect timing to expand and grow you so that when your deepest desires arrive, you are ready and open for them?
No matter how it feels in the moment, there are opportunities within this for you.
As we clear these outdated stories, old patterns, deep feelings and fears, we free ourselves up to act from a new space.
When we act from a new space, we create a new experience.
Can you picture what it would be like to act fully from your inner compass without feelings of fear, self-doubt, or disbelief coming to interfere?
Can you imagine how free it would feel to let go fully and surrender to the process without following those inner voices that live in lack and fear?
THIS is the opportunity that’s being presented to us right now.
With each trigger, each attempt by the mind to keep us safe, each emotion and each emerging wound.
What if we treated these experiences like breadcrumbs and followed them one by one until we understand where they’re leading us?
What if we traded in our assumptions & stories based on past pain for presence, openness, and curiosity?
I am not for one second saying that this is easy.
This is an inherently challenging process.
It has to stretch us, to test us, to change us fundamentally from the inside out in order to move us forward.
We must do something we haven’t done before in order to experience all we have yet to experience.
To see the spaces where we’ve been clinging onto old stories, keeping ourselves “safe” and shielded, but also isolated and locked away.
We must be stripped of all that came before in order to usher in all the beauty that’s available, that’s coming for us, that’s already here in so many ways.
We must do something we haven’t done before in order to experience all we have yet to experience.
We must be stripped of all that came before in order to usher in all the beauty that’s available, that’s coming for us, that’s already here in so many ways.
This is the path, the dance, the sacred process.
We walk through the fire over and over again in order to be reborn.
All this being said… I know it’s hard. I know it’s painful.
I’m burning in the fires of change along with you.
While the discomfort of change can be immense, I will choose it every time.
The pain of playing small, of standing still, of refusing to step up and meet my full, beautiful, glorious embodied self is far greater than any pain that comes with growth.
I choose to lean in. I choose to face it. I choose to open my heart and feel every ounce of my fear, my pain, my uncertainty as I take another flying leap into the great unknown.
If you’re feeling the call, it’s time.
Who’s with me?!
Tawny