Pre-Eclipse Feels

Updated: Jan 20

Sometimes I go silent because simply standing in place is all I have the energy for today.

Sometimes the weight of the world gets heavy. Sometimes I feel bogged down by the isolation, the uncertainty, the fear of the unknown.

Don’t get me wrong — I believe in this journey wholeheartedly, every step of the way.


That does not mean the experience is always easy, or pleasant.


Sometimes it feels blissful. Sometimes it feels incredibly stressful, or just plain bad.

I feel sad sometimes. Really, really sad. A deep grief felt in my bones that I can’t always place the source of.


I think humanity is tired.

Tired of the old ways. Tired of the pain, the fear, the division, the lies that try to point us down the wrong paths over and over again.


We, individually and collectively, have been swimming against the current for far too long.

The system was designed this way. Hence why “success” never feels the way you think it will feel.


We are meant for something deeper. Something more robust, more intimate, more vulnerable, more raw. We are here for wholehearted connection. No layers in between; no masks involved.

Humanity is crying out to God right now. I can feel it. Screaming toward the sky. Straining to see, and to survive, amidst a slew of torrential rain that seems unending.


I will say it again: humanity is tired.


And while this may hurt sometimes, while it may sting and pain us down to our very core — what if nothing has gone wrong?


What if every experience is working in our favor? What if the pain is leading us back to what is truly important? What if exhaustion and despair are the opening point for something new to arise?

What if this is the very path out of the madness and suffering we’ve experienced for all our lives?

The first step of creating something new is letting go of what is no longer working.


Would we really let go if it did not become burdensome to live this way? Or would we sit forever in confining comfort zones if it felt easier to stay?

I’m not going to lie — this process can feel excruciating at times. But what if every experience, every fear and obstacle and sleight, is moving us to the place we are truly meant to be?


What if witnessing your pain, the depths of your inner darkness, and the shadows of all humanity is the guiding light that finally leads you home?

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