In this season of my life, I am only interested in relationships made of gentleness and understanding.
I have lived the years of harshness and silent lonely solitude while surrounded with those who were meant to see me.
I have bitten my tongue until it bled, eaten my anger by the spoonful while those around blamed me for it.
I have cried tears of glass from my inner depths, catching them one by one in my hand so they wouldn’t fall and shatter on the floor.
I didn’t dare make a sound. Ask for help. Express myself. Have a need.
I kept it down and bottled it up until it bubbled over in my throat like a riverbed.
I have been there, done that. For far longer than I ever needed to.
And this, here and now, is a brand new season that I am living in.
I’m looking for the ones who, rather than telling me softer or quieter or more this way, will simply sit back and enjoy the beauty of my waves.
The ones who stare in awe and appreciation as I contract and expand, filling up every crevice of life’s possibility, and then retreat again.
The ones who love me equally in light and in darkness as I change like phases of the moon.
The ones whose words fill my mind with ease and my heart with tenderness.
This is the only thing I am open for.
This is deep freedom and comfort to me.
In this season of my life, I will laugh with the ones I can cry with.
Tawny