For most of my life, people tried to tell me who I am.
For a long time, I believed them.
I believed that I shouldn’t speak. I believed that I didn’t know what I was talking about. I believed that I wasn’t meant for the spotlight. I believed them.
All the labels, words, stories, and reasons to keep me down — for a long time, I believed them.
Not always on the surface. But those repetitions slowly became ingrained in me. Once I removed the naysayers from my life, these same jeers started coming from within me.
It took me years to unlearn what they taught me.
Now that I'm walking along this sacred path of unlearning, this is my takeaway:
Don’t let people tell you who you are. They don’t know as much as they think.
YOU determine who you are. You know yourself best. You spend every moment with yourself. You decide who you are. You can claim this authority in every moment.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my own conditioning since I recorded this episode.
I was deeply, deeply conditioned as a child NOT to be visible. Never to be seen or heard. And definitely not to try to take up space and be in the spotlight.
I was strongly cautioned against being arrogant or vain. These definitions of arrogance and vanity included ANY form of attention-seeking, being proud of my own accomplishments, or thinking positively about myself.
You can probably understand why, when I put myself out there, I can still feel overcome with fear/guilt/anxiety because OMG I WAS SEEN.
I still experience this pretty often. I used to let it stop me from putting myself out there. Now I feel the fear and do it anyway. Even when everything in me screams at me to stop stop STOP.
It is not an easy, overnight process to unlearn these deeply conditioned behaviors and beliefs. AND it is 100% worth it.
I am still working on it. And I've come SO far from where I used to be.
I'm so grateful to no longer let the wounds and teachings from my past stop me from being myself. Truly, deeply, unapologetically me.
I deserve to be seen. And the world deserves to see me. The realest, fullest, most glorious version of me.
And guess what?
The world wants to see you too. You deserve to be seen for exactly who you are.